Britney Spears To Adopt Chinese Twin Gilrs

Britney loves Chinese food

I mean kids. Rumor has it Britney Spears is finalizing the adoption process for two twin Chinese girls. This story being a mere rumor, I doubt Britney can even renew her license let alone acquire more children. This story is total bogus and a product of some glue sniffing writers at News of The World tabloid poop.

According to reports from Britain’s News Of The World newspaper, Britney, 25, has confided to pals that she’s in the final stages of talks with an adoption agency and plans to go ahead with the adoption very soon.

Friends of the singer reckon that Britney has elected to adopt the two six-year-old children from China in a frantic bid to fill the void left by losing her sons to K-Fed.

I believe in other magical stories, such as unicorns once romed freely in the forests before bigfoot sodomized them which led to mass suicides due to severe trauma to the anus. Garden knomes steal your right sock in the middle of the night (that's why the are always missing, it's not the hidden realm in the dryer), and insolation is really the yummy candy center of a house. Wait, is that not true? Oh piss, I need a Surgeon QUICK!

Stop signs are for people who aren't Britney Spears. She drives through three stop signs because it's Britney BITCH!

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Britney spent her Thanksgiving Day with Sean Preston, Jayden James, and the parenting coach. After a Thanksgiving dinner of cheetos and starbucks coffee, they all snorted pixie sticks off each others diapers.