Not funny

Mad TV hasn't been funny for well ever but nice try in their new Britney Spears parody Womanizer video I'm moreWiser. It's annoying and really dumb but still, I'm posting it for some reason. I don't know if it's just all the wine I've been drinking but you be the judge of it.

Teh suxxorz

Author: christin Posted: 11/25/2008
Tags: Funny videos  

The solved case about the missing belly button

Supermodel and Victoria's Secret babe Karolina Kurkova doesn't have a belly button and now we know why. Is she a mutant or possibly an alien from Mars? 

“She had an operation when she was an infant,” her rep told the Daily News. “It’s a fact and just thank God she’s healthy.”

Oh, that's it? boring. A  umbilical hernia? Bummer, I was hoping for something more interesting and supernatural but at least we can finally sleep at night knowing the facts about her missing belly button. Case closed!

Author: christin Posted: 11/25/2008
Tags: Karolina Kurkova  

These two bozo's got married

Congrat-Who cares about these two media whores. Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag are the most annoying attention sluts on TV. I hate them. They can have all the annoying babies they want just please for fuck sake go away.

The Hills star wed her longtime beau, Spencer Pratt, in a secret ceremony in Cabos San Lucas, Mexico, on Nov. 20, Us Weekly reports in its newest issue. See exclusive photos wedding photos in Us Weekly’s new issue, on stands Wednesday.

“The minute we said our vows, I couldn’t stop crying,” Montag, 22, tells Us.

At the altar, Pratt, 25, told his bride: “Heidi, from the moment you came into my life, I knew my life would never be the same without you. You are the light in my life like the sun to the earth! Your loving warmth makes me want to be a better person. Being with you, I feel complete. I’m honored to even be able to call you my wife. You are the most amazing, loving and caring woman on this planet. I will love you forever and always.”

Someone who might not be so thrilled? Montag’s mother.

“I called her right before the ceremony, sort of hinted that something that happened, but her reaction was to ask me if we were breaking up! I told her it might be something else, and she said, ‘Well, if you ever plan on getting married just know that your stepdad is really upset that you want your father to walk you down the aisle,’” Montag tells Us.

“She was starting so much drama, it kind of pushed me toward wanting to get married without that,” she adds. “I don’t know when I’ll tell her.”

bla bla bla who gives a shit. I sure don't, I'm just reporting celebrity news and gossip. We'll start a count down for how many months it'll be until they divorce.

Author: christin Posted: 11/25/2008
Tags: Heidi Montag  just married  Just Married  Spencer Pratt  

Salma Hayek is My Hero

Salma Hayek and her lovely milky side boobs are my hero. Those things can feed a small country of children and elderly folks. Happy Monday? It sure is now.

I wish I was a child from that country she can feed. Don't worry Salma, I'll be gentle.

Author: christin Posted: 11/24/2008
Tags: Salma Hayek  

Not so Shocking, Shocking News; Amy and Blake call it quits

I guess marriage wasn't going to last with Amy Winehouse and Blake Feilder-Civil. Such a shame, when two crackies fall in love one goes to prison for a long time and sobers up when the other just gets deeper in a downward spiral of heroin and crack rock. They were meant to be together forever in crack head heaven. Just kidding, these two were doomed from day one.

I take it now Amy's on a suicide watch?

Drug-tortured star Amy dramatically confessed: “It’s over. There’s no way back for us now. It was never going to last. We were only together for SEX.

“I fancied him like mad, like no one else I’ve ever known. But it’s not enough, is it?”

“Mostly it was Blake suggesting new things but Amy doesn’t need encouragement. They were like animals, at it all the time.

“Just like they were with drugs, they pushed themselves to the limit.

“They were into threesomes. It was Blake’s idea but Amy said she’d been with women before so it wasn’t a problem. She said she’s had a string of female lovers.

“Whenever Blake said he wanted three-in-a-bed Amy would fix it.

“They didn’t care about sharing themselves with others because it turned them on. They thought they were on this sexual journey together.

“And the pair of them were into some real kinky stuff, not just the usual bondage and sex games but really gross stuff you couldn’t mention in a newspaper.

“Amy said that was the basis for their relationship. It was built on sex so when he went inside prison there was nothing for them to fall back on.

Wow gross, they probably shoved crack rocks up their asses or something grosser I'll just spare you the mention of what I'm thinking in my fucked up head. Blake has reportedly left Amy for German model Sophie Schandorff. Good Luck with that one Sophie.

Author: christin Posted: 11/24/2008
Tags: Amy Winehouse  Blake Fielder-Civil  divorce  

Travis Barker is suing everybody

Travis Barker has filed a lawsuit for the jet plane crash that killed four people and left him and DJ AM with serious 3rd degree burns all over their body. During an interview Travis talks about his reasoning behind the lawsuit.

"I wouldn't have been in the state I was in if I wasn't in the crash," said Barker, who spoke Sunday while at the Miss California USA event with Shanna Moakler. "I wouldn't have third-degree burns all over my body or be prohibited to do certain things. I can't go swimming. I can't do some of the things that normal people can do. I didn't ask for that to happen."

The drummer says he doesn't know if he'll win his lawsuit.

"I don't know. I just think positive. I mean, I think so—if something goes wrong that's not supposed to go wrong or you fall victim of it, I think you should be compensated."

He says he's not just speaking for himself, either. "I lost two friends in the accident. Nothing can bring them back or what I lost in the accident."

I don't think he'd win that lawsuit unless he hires a team of the best lawyers and they find negligent proof of faulty mechanics on the jet plane which caused it to crash.

"If Something Goes Wrong...You Should Be Compensated"

Author: christin Posted: 11/24/2008
Tags: Travis Barker  

Ashlee Simpson exploded a baby boy

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz birthed a boy, they named him Bronx Mowgli Wentz yesterday at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles. Mowgli like Mogwai?

The baby boy weighed in at 7 pounds, 11 ounces and measured 20 1/2 inches.

"Ashlee, Pete and baby Bronx are all healthy and happy, and thank everyone for their well wishes," a rep for the couple told People

I kinda dig the first name, Bronx is pretty cool but the Mowgli? really? Hopefully his cool first name overshadows is retarded middle name. I guess that's what happens when you mate with an EMO musician whose band single handedly killed rock music.

Author: christin Posted: 11/21/2008
Tags: Ashlee Simpson  birth  Pete Wentz  

Britney Spears is still rambling on about her loonie-bin antics

Britney Spears is confessing a lot of unanswered questions about her meltdown for this new documentary of her crazy life on MTV, but what the American people really want to know is; What the hell she was thinking when she shaved her head?

“I think I married for the wrong reasons,” she says. “Instead of following my heart and doing something that made me really happy, I just did it for the idea of everything.

Wrong answers, try again.

Yes, we get it, you went crazy

Author: christin Posted: 11/20/2008
Tags: Britney Spears  

Not so shocking, shocking news; Paris and Benji broke up

Wow, who gives a shit. If you really do, continue reading this post. If not click here and here.

Paris dumped Benji saying he was "too controlling" and that she needed her freedom back, a source tells Star exclusively.

"Paris was fed up with Benji always telling her what to do and bossing her around," says the insider. "She couldn't take his overbearing ways anymore. It was stressing her out. He can be very aggressive and he was just too much trouble."

Benji didn't take the breakup well, says the source. "He fought for a second chance and asked if they could talk it out but Paris said she was done talking," reveals the insider.

The demise of Paris and Benji's relationship, after nine months of dating, didn't happen overnight. "They've had "a lot of fights in the past," says the source. The nail in the coffin was a showdown over Paris' flirty night out with her ex-boyfriend Stavros on Saturday.

"Benji didn't like it that she spent the evening with Stavros," says the source. "He blew up and Paris felt victimized. He gave her a lot of grief about that."

I hope for those of you who continued to read this update, you are whole inside and all your questions about the break-up have been answered. Now, go to the nearest liquor store, buy yourself a bottle of the cheapest vodke (plastic bottle kind) and search deeply inside your soul because I'm sorry to say this, but your life is empty.

Author: christin Posted: 11/20/2008
Tags: Benji Madden  Break up  Paris Hilton